From the EastWing, Winding Up or Winding Down, Finger Painting From The EastWing, Walking On The Back Roads, Feeling The Dirt With Your Toes, Hey Dude! You’re Getting A Boat & A Goat

Greeting to all and welcome new friends to the EastWing.

Guess it’s once again time to say “Wow!  Did this year fly by fast or what?” It’s the what part that always surprises me. Of course it flew by. One second at a time, much the same as the years prior. But of course we also wondered how they flew by so fast too.

The most happy part of my 2013 at the EastWing has forever been Sunday Evening and visiting with my friends both near and far. As I sit here in the EastWing and watch the year 2013 tiptoe into history, I’m forever grateful to find myself at this point in my life doing what I love to do. I paint pictures in people’s mind.

Now I’m certainly no Thomas Kinkade when it comes to painting pictures.  But I do, from time to time, turn on a light once in a while.

As the closing dark shades of time draws around 2013 we look back and reflect on things that might have been. Some were happy, some were sad, some were funny, some were glad, some were smart, some were dumb.  Yet all were a part  of what we will forever remember on the backroads of our memories, and we’ll call  it 2013.

They’re all dirt roads, ya know. The backroads of your memory, of my memory, of everybody’s memory. Yeah, all memory backroads are in the dirt. There’s no concrete asphalt ribbon of steel running down memory lane.  You walk slow on the backroads, the speed limit is not 70 mph. it’s at your own pace.  You’re  always stopping once again to remember a touch, sometimes wishing to once again smell. Sometimes to once again laugh. Then stopping sometimes, sometimes, to cry, on that backroad. Yeah, they’re all dirt, those backroads of our memory. And the best way to walk those backroads, is barefooted.  In the soft dirt, barefooted. You’ll know when you’re there, you’ll fill the dirt with your toes. Forever warm, that dirt and you’ll love it. Backroads in the dirt.  Those backroads are made for walking, barefooted, down memory lane.

Last Friday, shortly after the stock markets closed for the weekend, the Health & Human Services Department released the details of  yet another set of soon to be published  Federal Regulations implementing a little know section of the Obama Care Law. It is  sub-section,  3-AB-4(a),(b, c), VII, (2)(3)  of the Affordable Care Act, titled  Official Boat And Maritime Authority. This law is now being referred to in Washington DC as the “Affordable Boat Act”.  “The Affordable Boat Act” is just now being put into place as the  Federal Regulations are being written and soon to be published in the Federal Register.

The Affordable Boat Act  mandates that every citizen MUST, by April 15,  2016 purchase a new boat. These “affordable” boats will cost an average of $54,133.16  to  $155,217.73 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This portion of the Affordable Care Act is included, since those who wrote the Affordable Care Act knew that  until now, only wealthy and financially responsible people were able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have an “affordable” boat of their own, because everyone is “entitled” to own a boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of 2015, you will receive 4 “free” life jackets; not including monthly life jacket usage fees.

 

Such life jacket usage fees will be determined only after a minimum of 7 million life jackets have been handed out free. It is calculated that every household will save at least $2,500.00 per annum on life jacket usage fees. That $2,500.00 savings is based on the current life jacket usage fees being paid compared to the new life jacket usage fees which will be much lower.

 

Younger people are expected to pay more for their life jacket usage fees due to the fact that they are more apt to get drunk on their boat and fall in the water, hence higher usage of life jackets.

 

Older people, all those 65 and over and those age 62 and have signed up for Social Security Benefits, will not be entitled to receive free life jackets. For all citizens who do not qualify for a “Free” life jacket, the standard life jacket fee of $450.19 will apply. These higher dollar life jackets will carry a premium  monthly life jacket usage fee based on hours. Such hours are not based on usage, rather on hours of the day.  All boats owned by citizens over age 65, and those over 62, and having signed up for Social Security Benefits, are limited to one life jacket per boat.  In the event of an emergency, the occupants of the boat are to work out the details for the use of the single life jacket without interference from their federal government.

 

A replacement life jacket for any boat owner over 65 and for those 62 and over having signed up for Social Security Benefits, must be submitted in triplicate, mailed to the National Life Jacket Distribution Center for  Social Security Beneficiaries in Tidily Wink, Mississippi.  It is anticipated that such replacement life jacket request can be processed within 90 to 180 government working days.

 

For those over 65 and those 62 and over and having signed up for Social Security Benefits,  lack of a life jacket on board is not an acceptable reason to keep you boat in dock on your assigned boat usage day. Non boat use fines will automatically be accessed and paid by electronic transfer of bank accounts of the offender.

 

Replacement life jackets for any boat owner under age 65, and not having applied for Social Security Benefits, can be filed online. One on one replacement is expected to be 2-Day USPS. This boat owner can opt for overnight UPS delivery and pay an extra $1.00 per life jacket expedited shipping fee.

 

 In the event of unexpected delay in life jacket replacement, all boat owners under age 65 and not applying for Social Security Benefits, will receive an Email waiver of boat activity until such time as the arrival of the replacement life  jacket. No fines are assessed while a waiver of boat activity is in effect.

 

Boat owner over  65 and those over 62 years old and having applied for, and receiving Social Security Benefits, are not eligible for any waiver of boat activity due to life jacket shortage.

 

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don’t want or can’t afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27 . Then they must buy their own boat, or else risk going to jail for non-boat ownership.

 

If you already have a boat, you can keep your boat. If you have a dock, you can keep your dock. But only if you owned both boat and dock at least 18 months  and two weeks prior to the sinking of the Titanic. If you meet that simple criteria then you can keep both boat and dock.

Should you already own a boat and not meet the simple criteria to keep both your boat and dock, you must go to the Federal Government Boat Launch.  At the Government Boat Launch, you must sign up to buy your boat.  If you don’t want or don’t need a boat, it is still mandatory for you to buy a boat. If you refuse to buy a boat or can’t afford a boat, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase a boat or face imprisonment.

Failure to use your boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, ghettos, inner cities or areas with no access to lakes or rivers are not exempt, they too must buy a boat. Age, motion sickness, lack of experience, or knowledge or lack of desire to own a boat  are unacceptable excuses for not using your boat.

 

All undocumented citizens living within the borders of the United States of America are exempt from the Affordable Boat Act. Such undocumented citizens are eligible to receive free boats regardless of age. All costs associated with boat ownership for undocumented citizens are to be covered per the statutes here-in contained within  the Affordable Boat Act.

A government review board will decide everything concerning your boat, including when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and to determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories.  Items such as a $500 compass, that must be engaged every time you use your boat. Compasses  must be engaged even when within site of the shoreline.  All boat compasses must be the type providing GPS tracking capability. Only the government review board will determine when you must  buy a newer and more expensive boat.

Anyone purchasing “Cadillac Boats” will be taxed at a rate of 40%. Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so…it’s the only fair way to keep the playing field level. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials and those who work for them are exempt from all the Affordable Boat Laws. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations (dollars) are also exempt from the Affordable Boat Act.

 

The Affordable Boat Act has been passed into law to assure the every citizen gets their fair share. Simply because it’s the right thing to do. The Affordable Boat Act, does, finally at last, level the playing field just like President  Obama promised he would do for all of us. Then we voted for him, twice.

When our government can force us to buy healthcare, it can force us to buy a boat….or a goat,, or anything else… 

 

Yeah…boys and girls, it’s that stupid…….. Anchors away,,,,,,,, Nelly Bell.


Stay safe in Afghanistan.

 

From the EastWing, Winding Up or Winding Down, Finger Painting From The EastWing, Walking On The Back Roads, Feeling  The Dirt With Your Toes, Hey Dude! You’re Getting A Boat & A Goat

 

I Wish You Well,

BobbyRay